Domestic Dust

The return of...

2011-01-15T10:36:00.001Z

It's been a long time coming. Sorry about the lack of action on here. It is mostly due to time constraints, laziness and moving to Bristol. I have been busy though. I do a monthly round-up for Hyponik as well as interviews with people like Tom Kerridge (Ramp records boss) and the mighty Mosca. Expect more Domestic Dust pieces on people like Taz Buckfaster, Prize Pets and Minus' Marc Houle. I'm also working on an (epic) article for Juke magazine, and for their first edition I did a piece on daggering.

As I missed all the (inane) best of lists for 2010 I thought I'd give you what I thought was the best bits in a simple You Tube top ten clipboard (after the jump).

1. Enter the Void opening titles (Gaspar Noe and Thomas Bangalther)

2. Kanye West - Runaway

3. Actress - Hubble

4. Mavado - Hope and Pray

5. Cassius - Luv u so

Zdar on Rome (via Fluokids)

7. Mosca - Tilt Shift

8. Tempa T discussing the correct usage of 'myth'

9. Rustie - Hyperthrust (and Warp EP)

10. Cher Lloyd's rendition of Soulja Boy

Fatima

2010-08-07T12:35:00.001+01:00

100 % in love with this one.

Skream

2010-07-25T17:09:00.003+01:00

Listenin' To The Records On My Wall

Skream is back. Not that he really went away. Loving his new stuff and videos.
This one was created by the eccentric but brilliant David Wilson. Still trying to figure out if this is completely serious. It is.

Making of...

Cocoon roundup(s)

2010-07-25T16:56:00.002+01:00

Sven in 2009

Will went down to Cocoon and had a right ball by the sounds of things. Here is his review and underneath it is a slightly more gonzo take from a special guest reviewer who shall remain anonymous, for now...

This piece was originally intended to be a quick interview with Ricardo Villalobos to talk politics, analogue recording and jazz. Fortunately for him this didn’t happen so instead is an open love letter to him and his exploration of techno, house and bass in a field, at a stately home, in Leeds…

Apologies for the gushing tone, and I’m sure you don’t need telling/reminding, but he is that good. Bass lines where you thought would not fit and patience - afforded by the nearly 4 hour set - that might normally be dismissed as boring by your average pill-headed punter made for the perfect late afternoon set. Before I embarrass myself any further and mention how impressed I was with his outfit’s colour co-ordination (nice blue/green) or his proud peacockery or something I will mention the rest of the day… which was sort of great, obviously weather and drugs help at these kind of things but now in its second year I think Cocoon in the Park is the obvious festival choice for the more discerning techno/house fan. 1 stage, 4 DJs and a bit of stage production is all it needs. No unnecessary stalls, fairground rides and other sundries that would only distract.

Love to Adam Shelton, Loco Dice and Sven Väth – so German in the best possible way - who played too. Techyes!

- or -

It was a warm summer’s day in the stately home of Temple Newsome in Leeds where 6 men were set to storm the Leeds crowd with Flumping German Techno.

At approximately 4pm a spectacle arrived. Ricardo Villalobos walked into Cocoon in the Park just a man. He came and stormed the crowed with his Gigantic Techno weapon, a large sprinkling of bass and wowed the dancing crowd. It is heard that when he left he became a living legend and will go down in Techno history, a fine example of how to rip the ears out of the hot club dancers and divas.

Then he came, the man himself, Sven Vath. Chucking out crowd pleasers and crowd weepers he ruled the stage. With his dashing blond hair and vest he closed the night off with a stunning 4 hour set. As the night fell and lights flashed the night came to a close with a bang.

It was over, tears in the fans eyes and the fear that Techno is well and truly at its best. It was a moment that will stay with us forever. Sven you are the L'Ultimo.

Highlander

Cocoon in the Park

2010-07-07T12:16:00.003+01:00

This weekend sees one of the most interesting one day music events kick off in Leeds. Frankfurt's own mega night Cocoon graces Leeds with Cocoon in the Park and brings the likes of Ricardo Villalobos, Sven Vath and Loco Dice to play some minimal and Berghain for the masses. It's happening at Temple Newsom this Saturday (July 10th) and finishes around 11, watch out for the afterparties too.

Ricardo Villalobos

DD will be at the event and even gets to interview Ricardo Villalobos, which isn't too shabby. At £40 it's a steal and the DD crew can't wait. See you down there with bells on.

Sven Vath @ Amnesia

It aint gonna be the same...

2010-06-28T12:50:00.001+01:00

LCD Soundsystem - Yeah (Crass version)

It really isn't. RIP LCD. Not a lot of bands have produced freshness like this in recent years.

Controversy

2010-06-27T12:04:00.003+01:00

Prince - Controversy

Controversy has to be one of the most important pop songs of the 80s. Truly seminal, it set a blueprint for not only dance-based pop in that decade but for the more interesting side of house music in the 1990s and beyond. One look at the live version at Bloomington and anyone who went to the Daft Punk Alive tours in 2007 can see exactly where they got their inspiration.

Live in Bloomington 1983

Lyrically it brought a serious edge to what could have been a tongue-in-cheek, self-referential record. "Some people want to die, so they can be free" is juxtaposed with "Some people call me rude, I wish we all were nude, I wish there was no black and white, I wish there was no rules". Yes, it is slightly ridiculous but it sought to speak to all those teenagers finding themselves and dealing with not fitting into society's or their own family's expectations.

The move from the driving 4/4 beat into the chorus is magical, and comes from nowhere - resetting people's assumption of what could be achieved with dance music. Unlike the 4/4 driving tunes that Talking Heads were producing at the same time, Prince managed to marry the danceability of house/disco with killer hooks and populist choruses.

The disco revival of 2008 gave the song another audience, with younger DJs and artists, like Holy Ghost putting it into mixes alongside tracks by artists such as Hercules and the Love Affair.

Holy Ghost! - I will come back

And even less obvious artists like Minus' Jesse Heartthrob have spoken about the influence that Prince, and specifically Controversy, had on their musical development.

Live in Houston 1981

Controversy might have seemed like an obvious song title and topic for Prince to have opted for, but he managed to deliver something that was so much more than simply a headline-grabbing slab of forgettable pop.

Next big thing

2010-06-24T16:08:00.006+01:00

Kode 9 and Spaceape

I'm predicting jungle is going to come back in a big way during 2011. I've said it.
I am basing this completely on the fact that Kode 9 put together a jungle-inspired mix for Fact recently and that drum and bass has been so dire for the past decade.

Dance music )and music in general) moves in cyclical phases and now seems to be the ideal time for jungle to comeback. Of course, people like DJ C, Dj/Rupture and Kid 606 have been keeping up the darker riddims - but the mid-range frequencies that inspired dubstep produces to focus on actual bass, have dominated d'n'b.

If it does comeback around it'll be interesting to see how Radio One will deal with it. By playing d'n'b consistently on peak time shows, djs like Zane Lowe, have encouraged the radio-friendly tunes that producers like Pendulum and Sub Focus create and the kids like so much.

Yes, they have brought the scene into the mainstream, but it has also stopped producers trying to do anything interesting.

Soundman & Don Lloyde ft. Elizabeth Troy's 'Greater Love'

Kode 9 digs out the best of now, with older tracks like Soundman & Don Lloyde ft. Elizabeth Troy's 'Greater Love' showing young producers how to bridge the gap between jungle and the jazzy/broken beat influenced tunes that people like Joy Orbison and Actress are creating.

Tracklist:
01. Soundman & Don Lloyde ft. Elizabeth Troy | Greater Love | S.O.U.R.
02. Lemon D | Manhattan Melody | Conquerror Records
03. Dope Style | You Must Think First | Ganja
04. Nut Nut | Special Dedication | Hardstep Records
05. Undercover Agent | Oh Gosh | Juice Records
06. DJ SS | MA2 remix | Formation Records
07. 12-10 Series Mk 1 | All That Jazz | Back 2 Basics
08. L Double featuring Bassman | Da Base Too Dark | Metalheadz Dark00
09. Urban Jungle | Back In The Daze | Unknown
10. Sacred | U Ready 4 Dis (Kall The Kops) | Pursuit Records
11. Fusion Forum | Vintage Keys | Reinforced
12. Maldini | Def Roll | Phat Trax
13. Bad Influence feat. DJ Rush Puppie | Time & Time | Prime Time Wax

Big tunes! I want credit if I'm right and if not... let's not talk about it.

I've got my head straight and my shit together

2010-06-01T13:00:00.001+01:00

Minor Threat

How can you not love Minor Threat? Ian MacKaye is awesome.

In My Eyes

This is the day

2010-05-31T16:30:00.001+01:00

The the - This is the day

This was the last piece of music on the disappointing adaptation of Martin Amis' Money. Pretty awesome.

LCD RIP

2010-05-30T19:00:00.002+01:00

Drunk Girls

Things are not going to be the same without LCD. Their latest record, This Is Happening, will be the last, but James Murphy has pledged to continue under a different moniker. A bit like when Macho King Randy Savage lost against the Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania 7 in a 'career-ending match', only to reappear as simply Macho Man Randy Savage.

These clips, which document the creation of the record in a Hollywood mansion are intriguing. I put them here so you don't have to flick between them on their site.

P1

P2

P3

P4

P5

P6

P7

Synth wars: Cold Cave vs Hurts

2010-05-12T18:58:00.003+01:00

Hurts 'Better than Love'

The 80s was a cool time. At least that seems to be what everyone thinks at the moment. The styles are everywhere and the music has been cool for the last couple of years. Synths have been slowly making their way back onto the stage setups of many a band, but two of proudest users of the instrument are Cold Cave and Manchester's own, Hurts.

Paul Lester featured the latter in his New Band of the Day blog last year and since then they've slowly been building hype. He described them in the following terms:

This electro-pop boy-duo look as though they've been styled by Helmut Newton, directed by Anton Corbijn and produced by Trevor Horn on a Martin Hannett tip...

As you can probably guess from that style is an important element of what they are going for. For me, there is something a little too contrived about them. Slicked back hair, pressed top-button shirts and a look of longing in their eye which doesn't do it for me, yet. When their album drops in August I'll probably change my tune like Nick Clegg talking about the Tories.

Their new single 'Better than Love' is polished, but lacks the emotion of Cold Cave's output. They remind me of a more thought out version of Delphic (harsh, I know!). The video is pretty swish, and it's set in a 50s-style underground lesbian bar!

Cold Cave 'Love Comes Close'

Cold Cave use their synths in a more toned down, subtle and interesting way. Managing to create genuine emotion without forcing it.

Their debut album Love Comes Close turned a lot of heads in 2009 and they've just finished touring in the UK. Put into the American Gothic genre but some, they have been compared to Joy Division and New Order. But, they offer something more sophisciated than straight up synth driven pop or downbeat laments.

Both bands are doing a lot for synths at the moment, so expect Topshop to start stocking some mini Korg, Moog and Roland badges pretty soon.

Sun Araw

2009-11-21T10:56:00.000Z

Geneva Hits

In Orbit

I'm starting to get pretty excited about music again. Sun Araw is one of the guys who is really doing some interesting stuff at the moment. Wire recently did a bit on him and he is putting out some high quality, expensive ($16) tapes. But even though the exchange rate is still rubbish it's worth investing in them. He's like Wavves except not overrated and actually fresh. Check him out at Myspazzz or on the No Fun website, yeah that's right he runs with the No Fun crew as well just to make you hate/love him even more.

Horse Steppin' video

You'll stay plastered!

2009-11-03T19:17:00.002Z

William Buckley vs Gore Vidal

In America this is very famous footage from the 1968 Democratic convention in Chicago, which was the scene of mass violence and is recognised as a watershed moment in US history (and inspired work from authors such as the late Norman Mailer - more from him later.)

Willian Buckley is kind of like David Frost, Jeremy Paxman, Andrew Marr and David Dimbleby rolled into one and forged in a bright blue conservative furnace. As you can see from the footage above he does not mind telling it straight and does not hold back regardless of who he is talking to.

Vs Chomsky

Fair enough, Chomsky is not the most charasmatic bloke in the world. Any man who has theorised for as long as he has is bound to be a little bit wooden but Buckley comes across like a funny Nicky Campbell in this clip and single handedly makes me think perhaps all conservatives aren't completely boring.

Vs Mailer

The full interview is here, check it out if you've got a spare hour to chuck about. It's captivating and sustaining stuff which I highly recommend and lays out the merits of conservatism in simple and surprisingly attractive terms.

Vs Rev Jesse Jackson

I loooooovvvveeeee Jesse Jackson. When he cried when Obama was elected I blubbed along as well. But talk about getting destroyed by someone. Buckley's delivery is so drawn out with his well-spoken drawl that when his insults do come you almost miss them.

For more on the late William Buckley, there is a great obit on the Times' website and a weird interview with Huey Newton, who looks and sounds as if he has been awake for a fortnight and then hit with a cattle prod about five seconds before being sent out on set.

RZA

2009-10-01T20:48:00.002+01:00

Protect Ya Neck

C.R.E.A.M

Ice Cream

RZA is big time. I'm off to see him in Leeds next week and one of my mates just sent me one of the best mixes I've heard in a while. It contains a lot of the samples he used to craft some of the best hip-hop tracks ever. Enjoy,

Slayer

2009-09-27T21:03:00.001+01:00

Angel of Death

Raining Blood

Not sure whether these are genius or rank.

Get your trolleys down

2009-09-27T20:32:00.002+01:00

Ghosthunting with the Happy Mondays

It does not get better than this. Bez's rousing call to arms, Shaun Ryder falling over like an alcoholic and Gaz shouting his head off and trying to start a fight with a ghost. Lord.

Steve Reich

2009-09-07T20:28:00.004+01:00

Steve Reich

Philip Glass, Terry Riley and Steve Reich. The Holy Trinity. If you've ever picked up Wire chances are you'll have read theses names, alongside those of Ornette Coleman and Scott Walker on a regular basis. You'll battle through the bizarre and weird marginal noise bands that make music by eating their relatives curtains and recording it through their cosmic microphones - but those four or five names will give you some hope that you're actually getting somewhere in the world of contemporary music.

Anyway, here is a South Bank series on Mr Reich. His music is actually worth the column inches that Wire and other decent music magazines/publications give him. It's Gonna Rain is noted here as a forerunner to loop based contemporary music - but that is half the story. Listening to this and then hearing Coldcut, Squarepusher, Eric B and Rakim or Ricardo Villalobos shows how Reich discovered a technique which has become a main stay in almost every genre of dance music.

Anything he does is worth a listen - I've just got a cassette of his 'Six Pianos' piece alongside Terry Riley's 'in C', as performed by Piano Circus. It's mega - if you want a copy send me an email and a 90 minute tape.

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Part five

Part six

Oh Kate!

2009-08-02T18:39:00.002+01:00

Running up that hill feat David Gilmour

Rocket Man on Wogan

Wuthering Heights

Talking Heads

2009-08-01T20:37:00.004+01:00

Born under punches (and the heat goes on)

Cities

Psycho Killer

Talking Heads are possibly the best band ever. There I've said it. I've got it off my chest. The last six months I've gorged on everything they recorded and couldn't be more ready to sing their praises. Yes Byrne is crazy and wears suits that are too big for him but who cares?

Ha!

2009-07-26T20:55:00.001+01:00

Ratatat mother f!

2009-04-08T15:20:00.002+01:00

Ratatat - Shempi

Ratatat are running things at the minute. I can't get shempi out of my cheesebox at all. Crossing the road, shempi comes into my head. Reading the newspaper shempi pops in. Eating a pot noodle - SHEMPI RIFF! The video is massive and you can download the mega Zongamin remix here as well via Fader and Have fun club. Boom - let it ruin your life.

Cosby Sweater

2009-03-24T18:41:00.003Z

High Fidelity is a bit verbose for most people's liking, but Jack Black's cosby moment is just sublime. He hasn't said anything as funny since. That line from 'Sex Laws' about picking cotton is top draw but that was before this.

Anyway, I hit VBS to see if there was any new skating videos and out pops this gem. At first I thought it would be some piece about a weird old guy who thought he made all of Bill Cosby's sweaters. But it is the guy and what's more he's a total legend. Studying at Dior in the 60s and taking the piss out of dutch women - this guy is my hero. He's even overtaken Cosby and he pretty much was my dad.

Simon Reynolds/Kraftwerk

2009-03-23T20:00:00.003Z

Kraftwerk - Computer Love

Shit, Simon Reynolds eh? That guy can talk can't he. How much hate does he get on those Guardian blog posts. Nuff abuse. Anyway, we started a little fanzine in Bradford. Literally there are about one hundred of these things flying about. I wrote a piece on Bassline and how it's evolving. In it I slammed the London-centric crew for not giving b-line enough love, Reynolds got a mention. Then we posted it on the internet and within about five seconds I got an e-mail from the main man himself.

I almost spat my baked beans out. How the hell he found it I will never know. We typed the address onto the back of the zines and no-one else even bothered logging on. I wonder if he's got some sort of custom made Reynolds tracker on his i-mac or if he employs failed grime emcees to search obscure music blogs for mentions?

Who knows. Who cares?

Join in the argument if you want it's over on the Behemoth blog. Btw I'm totally wrong, but it's fun to fight.

Oh yeah and Kraftwerk are just ace.

Out there mannnnnnnnnnnnnn!

2009-03-15T19:58:00.003Z

Sun Ra - Space is the place

Barrack is ace. Now we live in a post-racial society I feel sorry that there won't be many more opportunity for educational films like this one. Yeah, Sun Ra is mental but he has a point and the kids are well funny when they take the piss out of his shoes. God bless Sun Ra and the racists.

Stagger Lee

2009-03-15T19:47:00.002Z

Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds - Stagger Lee (Live)

Over the last week I've bought nearly every Nick Cave album. It's been a real experience. There is nothing like listening to songs like Stagger Lee and then trying to hide the smerck on your face when walking down the street, so that you don't look like an insane person.

Stagger Lee is off of Murder Ballads, which is by their own admission a NCaBDs comedy record. It's based on the legend of Stagger Lee, a right bad mofo, he sounds a bit like Craig Charles to me. Anyway, there are some other songs dedicated to Stagger Lee and most of them are right jolly old foot stompers:

Wilbert Harrison - Stagger Lee

This is a right rag time jaunt. It makes Stagger Lee sound like a good old boy with a bit of an anger problem, rather than the sodomising murderer of the Nick Cave songs.

Isley Brothers - Stagger Lee

America's most frantic threesome doing their own version of Stagger Lee. This is my favourite, it makes a violent confrontation sound like so much fun.

Recession and The Guardian

2009-02-11T19:46:00.002Z

Al Moodie - Everything Crash

Hey, I got a piece on The Guardian blog t'other day. It's all about how hip hop artists and dancehall singers are making songs about the recession even though they usually boast about how much cheddar they melt. The comments are pretty funny - I had to bitch slap someone. Braaaappppp!

Dying on the vine only in dreams

2009-02-11T19:36:00.002Z

John Cale - Dying on the vine

I've been feeling songs which are a bit mental recently. I don't think it gets much better than these two. Ok, forget Jools and his stupid comments about drummers, John Cale is amazing in this. And Roy Orbison, flipping nora, how disturbing/good is 'In Dreams'? No wonder Lynch jumped on it.

Roy Orbison - In Dreams

Kinski vs Hauer

2009-02-11T19:18:00.002Z

Hauer - Blade Runner

Hauer - The Hitcher

A few weeks ago my friend started a Monday film night at his house. He'd been given the Kinski/Herzog boxset for Christmas. We started with 'Aguirre: Wrath of God'. So far that is it. Because Klaus Kinski scarred us all the death. When I first thought of this post I thought it would be a pretty close call between the two of them. Rutger arguably has a better name and was in cooler films (Blade Runner) but no-one can match Klaus. He is next level.

Kinski @ Cannes

Kinski or Christ (it's your call, I'm calling him JC if I ever meet him though)

Wasting time on wasters

2009-02-11T19:07:00.002Z

No Age - Eraser (live at Juan's basement for Pitchfork TV)

Wavves - Part 3 by Yours Truly from Yours Truly on Vimeo.
Wavves - To The Dregs (live for Yours Truly)

Hello. How are you? I haven't done anything on here for a while. Partly because I'm lazy and partly because I'm busy. A large part of it is down to the fact I've been getting well into these new Pavement style bands from the US. Ok, No Age aren't new but Wavves kind of are.

This video is good fun. I was soooooo relieved when I saw it because usually when you hear about a cool new band it's just a matter of time before you find out they're stupid or your friend met them and they tried to pull his girlfriend. But these guys are as cool as We are Scientist and they're actually funny.

Ornette Coleman

2009-01-10T12:50:00.002Z

Ornette Coleman Quartet live in Rome 1974

I always wondered why Wire always wrote about OC. Now I know why.

Where rap went wrong

2009-01-09T20:51:00.001Z

Wham! - Wham! Rap

People always talk about how rap went wrong in the mid 90s when Puffy Daddy took over and Mase was in every video. But I've found evidence things went awry much earlier than that.

Finger drumming = the big look for 2009

2009-01-03T21:05:00.001Z

Every year needs a new fad like nu-rave or aquacrunk, well 2009 is soooo going to be the year for finger drumming. As if you don't want to be able to do this?

Are you happy with the things you do? Erm...yeah

2008-12-29T22:01:00.004Z

Part 1

Part 2

This is soooo painful. If you're going to interview an electronica innovator try to do it in his own language, because the chances are the guy will be so into electronica he will hardly speak his native tongue let alone Russian through a translator.

This is torturous to watch, it's even harsher than those sandpaper vinyl Richard James released. It's like he's just been trapped in a lift and these guys have sprung out and started vox popping him without knowing the fact he is Aphex Twin. When he asks him "why does he have long hair when other djs have short hair" I started shouting at the screen and crying. "Because I can't be f@@ked to get it cut" is a great response but the Russians probably just think he's an insane homosexual.

Oh yeah and I swear he says "How do you get invitation from nigger..." after about 12 seconds of the second video. Not cool. Well kind of, it depends who it's from.

Part 3

In fact, it's not much better in English. I think the main problem is no-one knew anything about him until about 2008 and the interviewer was blatantly a brit pop tagalong wag of some bloke from Sleeper or Suede. Aphex's "I quite like my voice i've got into it in the last week" is one of the best lines ever by the way.

Part 4

Aphex Twin is definitely best in Holland. He actually couldn't give one toss. Have you noticed he always gets one killer line out amidst all the indifferent chatter?

Part 5 (finally...)

It's at times like this I miss John Peel, he was simply effortless. All these idiots that have come before chatting about his hair and Chris Cunningham's obsession with Razzle and JP just gets down to business and a friendly chat.

Snap!

2008-12-28T14:08:00.002Z

Bon Iver - For Emma

Amadou & Mariam - Sabali

It's happened again. Two songs one melody. Two of the most hyped and respected acts this year, namely Amadou & Mariam everyone's favourite blind Malian Damon Albarn produced crooners and Guardian endorsed super mega ace version of Badly Drawn Boy, Bon Iver. I've found them out though. They've decided to share the same melody and hypnotise every music critic into believing they're next level virtuosos when infact they're just simple average middle of the roaders who could both do with a decent wash. See what you think.

Final Fantasy

2008-12-18T19:51:00.002Z

Final Fantasy by Kuresuna Zero

Final Fantasy was such a poor game. If you were into that game you were a full on geek, a border line rapist, a two time douche bag. Oh, what's that you weren't? Well look at Kuresuna Zero up here exposing the inner fantasy of all you fantasyphiles.

Of course don't confuse this guy with Owen Pallett of Final Fantasy fame aka the guy who did the strings for Arcade Fire. No, that guy is even worse than Kuresuna Zero. At a gig in Sunderland he got really annoyed at myself and an equally drunk friend repeatedly shouting for 'Peach, Plum, Pear' by Joanna Newsom, he shouted something about us being the 'problem with this country', WTF?!. Eventually I got so drunk that a threw up into my own pocket and was chucked out, I never did get to see PPP. Perhaps I'm the douche bag? In fact no. Listen to this guy - what a prick.

Final Fantasy - Peach, Plum, Pear (Live in Sunderland)

Hallelujah or something like that

2008-12-14T13:55:00.003Z

Leonard Cohen - Avalanche

Watch this video of Leonard Cohen singing Avalanche. Watch it carefully, see how mesmerising and strangely sinister the performance is and how everything about it is captivating.

Then watch this. And ask yourself how the f did Simon Cowell convince Cohen to allow Alexandra 'I'm not as good as Leona Lewis or Beyonce' Burke cover 'Hallelujah'? arguably one of the most genuinely moving pop songs ever written? Especially when Jeff 'I'm dead now' Buckley already recorded the definitive version that made everyone blub after 9/11 (me included). There needs to be some quasi right-wing facebook group formed to stop this abomination.

Ok, i'm not being totally serious but you see my point - on a series which all the judges have been shouting, screaming and a lot of the time crying about song choices this seems to be the coup de grace of song choice stinkers.

It'll probably be Christmas number one as well, unless Leona 'I'm a better version of Alexandra Burke' Lewis's cover of the blatantly already over played Snow Patrol ballad 'Run' doesn't continue to break online sales records for the next week.

Alexandra Burke - Hallelujah-baahumbug

Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah-jahtheallmighty

See what I mean?

What is happening to me?!

2008-12-10T18:52:00.003Z

Mavado and Busy Signal - Badman place

There was a piece in the NME the other day about how urban music is knackered and Lil'Wayne and Busy Signal are the only black knights in a field of burnt out piss takers. Well they didn't put it like that, but that was the jist, sort of, if you think in abstract metaphors like I do. Anyway, I totally disagree and after a hiatus of about five years I love urban music again, not just bassline but R'n'B.

There are some amazing club tracks knocking about at the minute - the production value is tip-top and the tracks actually have something of an edge to them. Here are my top three at the minute:

Cassie feat Lil'Wayne - Official Girl

This is just ridiculous, the production reminds me of 'Oops' by Hud Mo which is my favourite tune of the year by a mile. Lil'Wayne features which kind of contradicts my argument but he only has a cameo, so I reckon it doesn't count!

TI feat. Rihanna 'Live your Life'

Ok so if you listen to Galaxy 105 or Radio One you'll be sick of this, but if you listen to those stations you deserve to be disappointed. This has been killed by radio but it is still an amazing song. Big production and even a Trance-hop sample, kind of, Europop-hop would be more accurate.

Beyonce 'Single Ladies'

Stick with this. It's abit like Shatner's performance of 'Rocket Man' except it's flipping Beyonce and it's not completely mental! this is my favourite thing at the minute, everyday before I go to work I scour the interweb for this video, it's a real pick me up. It's a bit weird when Ellen appears in the audience and Queen Latifah, two of the world's most famous Lesbians - perhaps the director was trying to make a super topical comment on Gay marriage laws or maybe they were the two most famous people in a room full of oinks.

Jerry 'Flipping' Hsu

2008-12-06T13:35:00.002Z

Jerry 'No Homo' Hsu

Jerry Hsu is ace. For the past couple of days I've got in from work and just watched either Epicly Later'd clips of him or old video parts I found on You Tube.
These two are the best I found although you should hit Epicly Later'd and watch the docu on him and his photographs. If you like Vice style pics you'll like Jerry. He did the cover for the Russian issue about a year and a half ago
and it's one of the best cover pics ever and the story behind it is even madder. Check it out here. Bless

Metronomy

2008-12-04T19:00:00.002Z

Metronomy - Radio Ladio

Metronomy - Radio Ladio

Metronomy are top. I'm loving Radio Ladio far too much. There is the video and here is a little Practice Space they did with Jaimie Hodgson who is in everything this month. He's got stuff in i-D, he's on VBS and he's just been made new bands editor for the NME. Big Tings. This is an 'acoustic' version for VBS:

Boston Bounce

2008-12-04T18:09:00.004Z

DJ C

This is a piece I originally did for the Guardian but it kind of got spiked amidst some confusion!

Boston bounce was a scene born out of frustration. DJ C aka Jake Trussell lived in the northern American city and was tired of other cities like Detroit, Baltimore and Chicago getting all the attention for creating their own distinct brands of dance music.

"It began as an idea to incubate a new form of dance music to represent Boston." Explains Trussell, "Cities like Chicago, Detroit, New York, London, and Kingston are well known for the music cultures that grew there. Boston didn't have that, so we set out to develop our own scene."

Trussell had already been singled out by John Peel as an en vogue producer and his Mashit label was one of the last ever 'label of the month' awardees on his show.

Tracks like DJ C's remix of EOSS's 'Macko Jacko is Wacko' earned the label a reputation for producing jungle and breakcore that was not only accessible but also original.

After that in 2004 his reputation was enhanced further when he was courted by global music don Diplo and was asked to remix tracks for M.I.A. But it was the development of a scene in his own city that began to dominate his time.

He'd been djing and producing in Boston along with fellow djs and producers like Aaron Spectre and DJ Flack since the mid 90s as part of the Toneburst collective, which tried to create the DIY spirit of the British rave scene.

The sound which became Boston bounce started at Boston club nights like Spectrum, where DJ C, Spectre and DJ/Rupture would play their mixed up sets, which could include anything from dancehall to grime, "We would present an extremely diverse interpretation of dance music. We'd blend Baltimore-club, 2-step, bhangra, and techno with hip-hop, jungle, dancehall, and rock. Basically whatever we liked." Says Trussell.

Those genre blends were hugely influential on the finished sound of Boston bounce as Trussell explains, "A huge part of the sound is about blending genres. We just wanted to create some framework to begin with — a place to grow from."

That growth came when Trussell started his own night, Beat Research, and began to make his first Boston bounce tracks. He slowly introduced them into his sets at Beat Research and they instantly chimed with a crowd that was used to the eclectic side-steps that are the trademark of Boston bounce.

Tracks like 'Boston, you are my bounce' and 'B-Town swing' captured the soundclash style that Trussell and his friends had created a sound and which Trussell admits was heavily influenced by the UK grime and dubstep scene.

Indeed, when his remix of M.I.A's U.R.A.Q.T is heard next to tracks by Shystie and Lady Sovereign on one of Trussell's many online mixes, it's hard to tell where the grime/UK G begins and the Boston bounce ends.

The Boston bounce sound consists of mid-range basslines mixed with bottom end pressure, dubby reverb and breakbeat drums which will sound familiar to fans of dubstep and dancehall, but it also has a freshness and originality all of its own.
That anything goes attitude of Boston bounce producers, made sure the repetitious nature of some sub genres never happened to Boston bounce.

Mashit put together a 'Boston Bounce' compilation that is dominated by Boston producers such like DJ C, Duo:tone and DJ Flack.

Tracks like DJ C and MC Zulu's 'Ransom the Senator' and DJ Flack's 'Dub Surenda' sound like the dubstep offerings of The Bug but with all the harshness and dread removed and replaced by the buoyancy that Boston is now famed for. Whereas tracks like 'Rain Day' by Local Fields shift from a 135 bpm Boston bounce track into a jungle breakdown that DJ C first became notorious for in the early days of Mashit.

Boston bounce is a sound that isn't afraid of switching it up; in fact that is the whole point.

Trussell has now moved away from Boston to Chicago but the Boston bounce scene is still strong and he regularly makes trip back to his beloved Boston to play at Beat Research.

Younger producers from Boston are also making an impact with B.Rich's slightly harder take on Boston bounce being particularly interesting. New nights like Heartthrob are also mixing Boston bounce with the harder electro of New York based producers like AC Slater and Drop The Lime.

The frustration that spawned Boston bounce has translated into a genre and a scene that is built on docking its cap to its influences, and with influences that good it sounds amazing.

LANRE BAKARE

Pity it got spiked, been loving DJ C for time. Get some of those mixes down you it'd a big sound.

James Pants and a golden oldie

2008-11-18T16:39:00.003Z

James Pants - We're Through

James Pants is amazing. There isn't anything to dislike about the guy. He's white. He makes pop music. He's signed to Stones Throw. And he likes to go record shopping with Peanut Butter Wolf. He's made it into my top 8 friends on myspazz and i'm currently hunting him on facebook.

This is the brilliantly funny video for his latest single 'We're Through' which was out a while back. Still worth hunting down but the video gives the song a different 'sexy coke party' vibe. Basically if you're not into JP you're rubbish.

Clipse - Grindin'

I forgot how big this tune is. Top production when the Neptunes actually made tunes for gangsters and weren't trying to be in the worst band in the world. All the references to selling crack make total sense now in a post-Wire world.

Pulled Apart by Horses and That F**king Tank

2008-11-14T10:04:00.002Z

PABH - 'Meat Balloon' Live @ Reading 2008

I'm off to see Pulled Apart by Horses and That F**king Tank in a really laddy pub in Saltaire called the Rosse. Amidst the moshing and skanking i'll probably see my good friend's mum Carol who goes in there most Fridays.

I'm going to wear a new era cap and a massive gold chain, i'm betting there is an 80%chance I either can't get in wearing them or I get abused for it.

I'll fill you in tmrw.

Heartbreak skank cartoons

2008-11-13T17:47:00.002Z

Heartbreak - We're Back

Heartbreak are alot! They're italo-disco tunes make me blub, but they remind me of old 80s cartoon intros. Not crap ones like Thundercats, Transformers or Dungeons and flippin' Dragons but things like - Pole Position and Jayce and the wheel warriors.

Pole Position

Jayce and fam

Jayce and the wheel warriors is a massive intro - it nearly had me up dancing about in my PJs ala 89'!

Unforgivable Blackness

2008-11-13T17:35:00.003Z

A friend of mine sent me this pic with LOLZ splashed all over the side of it. It's a pretty eye catching title. It's about Jack Johnson the first black heavyweight champion of the world who was a bit like a really really mean Muhammed Ali who would laugh at his white opponents and run about with white women. In 1912 that wasn't cool.

Here's a little docu on the man, it's well put together if you can see past the American fluff that is on all these ESPN or HBO packages. Great story about the black and white cups of coffee as well I might use that when I get a caramel Latte from Nero, bet they'd love it.

Electro-grime is an electro-crime blud!

2008-11-12T17:37:00.002Z

Been joining the other 1.85 million people on the rock'n'roll this week, which means the highlight of my week is PMQs and finding out what happens behind the scenes on 'The Hills'. But sometimes things get really grim when I see things like this on MTV Base. Prancehall said electro-grime was dead - I wish it would hurry up and die.

Mosca

2008-11-12T14:15:00.004Z

Mosca, part of the Bass & Time fam, has put together a nice little mix. When I say little, I mean it's massive and covers every base in dancehall and bashment. He's also doing a night down in London called U Dun Know - if you've got a spare hour or two get deep into this it's expansive. Here's the download link.

Mosca – U Dun Know Promo Mix

Sajada Al Ubaid – Ala Honak
Airwaves Riddim Version
Vybz Kartel – Knock It (Airwaves)
Perfect – Pussy Nuh Fi Suck (Airwaves)
Booba Ft. Riddla – Mauvais Garcon RMX
Warning Riddim Version
Demarco – Sort Dem Out (Warning)
Munga – Feel Like (Warning)
Busy Signal – Loaded (Warning)
Busy Signal – Nikki Titti (Warning)
Movado – Money Changer (Warning)
Lil Wayne Ft. Sizzla – Only Reason
Fat Marley – Criy
Lil Jon – Snap Yo Fingas (Acapella)
Riko – Informer Mus Dead
Plan B – Frikitona
Busy Signal – Unknown Number
2 Player – Extreme Possibilities (Wagon Christ RMX)
Unk – Walk It Out (Andre 3000 RMX)
Unk – Walk It Out (Mecca Creole RMX)
Cham – Ghetto Story (Akon RMX)
Scorcher – Can’t Tell Me Nothing
Scorcher – One Blood
Fulanito – Enciende
Busy Signal – Nah Go A Jail
Dem Franchise Boyz – Lean Wit It (Acapella)
Damien Marley – Welcome To Jamrock (Version)
Lil Flip – Game Over (Acapella)
Crime Mob – Knuck If You Buck (Acapella)
Unknown – Unknown
Prince Po – 2 4
Sheryo Ft. Casey – Terroristes Du Rap
Drop Draws Riddim Version
Zebra & Tiger – The Tribute (Drop Draws)
DJ Pharris – The Money RMX (Version)
Hector El Bambino – Tu Quieres Duro (Acapella)
Aidonia – Get It Fuss
Lil Mama – Lip Gloss (Version)
Cham – Babylon Boy (Acapella)
Battefield Riddim Version
Sizzla – Purple (Battlefield)
T.O.K. – See Dem (Battlefield)
Fanton Mojah Ft. Flash – Cry No More (Battlefield)
Tasha Ft. Clipse – So Sick
Harmonic 313 – Problem 3
Assassin – We Nuh Wan See Unnu
Common – Universal Mind Control (Version)
Dizzee Rascal – Stand Up Tall (Acapella)
Kingdom – Party Time
Enur Ft. Natasja – Calabria
Enur Ft. Natasja – Calabria (Vybz Kartel RMX)
Limbo Riddim Version
Elephant Man – Limbo (Limbo)
Pitbull – Bojangles (Tittsworth RMX)
Missy Elliott – Lose Control (Acapella)
Chaim – Africomania
Shawty – Hoody Hood Rat
Young MC – Know How (Deboniar Samir RMX)
MC Creu – Danca Do Creu
Geeneus – Yellowtail
Demarco – Duppy Know Who Fi Frighten
Style Of Eye – H-Bomb
DJ Tameil – Back That Thang Up (Big Ol Butt)
Rodion – Electric Soca (Crookers RMX)
Gaiola Das Popozudas - Agora To Solteira
Acid Jacks – Mookie
Rick Ross – Hustlin (Acapella)
Debonair Samir – Real Bitch Roll Call
Debonair Samir – Real Bitch Roll Call (Kazey & Bulldog RMX)
Cotti Ft. Doctor – Calm Down
TRC – Junior Riddim
2 Live Crew – Face Down Ass Up (Acapella)
Benga – E-Trips
Mike Jones – Tippin (Acapella)
IMP Batch – Gype Riddim
Frisco Ft. Macksta – Raising Levels
Dukeyman Ft. Lil Mama – Git Da Hand Clap RMX
Junior Gong – Something For You
Rogue State – Like A Lion
RBX – Rhythm & Gash
Shaun Banger Scott – Unknown
Chipmunk – Who Are You?
Lil Wayne – A Milli (Version)
Lil Wayne – A Milli
Mosca – Jook Jook
TRC – Lately
Synkro – King of Kings
Sully – Phonebox
Chancha Via Circuito – Damas Gratis Dub

Told you it was massive

2008 charts

2008-11-12T12:18:00.004Z

As part of this thing I'm doing for Mixmag I had to put together my top 20 singles, top 10 albums and top 5 various/comps for this year.

It was a hard slog as I had to find all the artists details on Discog, but I got there in the end. Here it is see what you think if there are any glaring ommissions let me know.

Singles

1. The Bug – Ganja (Ninja Tune)
2. Don Rimini – Rave On (Mental Groove)
3. Hercules and the Love Affair – Raise me up – (DFA Records)
4. Hot Chip – Ready for the floor (EMI)
5. Toddla T – Sound tape killin’ – (1965 Records)
6. Little Boots – Stuck on repeat (Fake Blood remix) – (no label)
7. Rustie – Jagz the Smack E.P. – (Stuff Records)
8. Zomby – Strange Fruit – (Ramp Records)
9. Hudson Mowhawke – Oops – (Wireblock)
10. Dj Mujava – Township Funk – (Warp)
11. Ghislain Poirier feat. Face-T – No More Blood (Megasoid remix) – (Ninja Tune)
12. DJ Q feat. MC Bonez – You Wot (Ministry of Sound)
13. Grace Jones – Williams Blood (White label)
14. South Rakkas Crew – Mad Again (Boy 8-bit remix) – (Mad Decent)
15. Radioclit – Secousse (Mumdance remix) – (Mental Groove)
16. Let’s Go To War – Push up ya lighter – (Last Gang Records)
17. Heartbreak - We’re Back (Lex Records)
18. Ghostface Killah – Charlie Brown (DJ Medhi remix) – (Scion)
19. DatA - Rapture feat Sebastien Grainger – (Ekler’o’shock)
20. B.Rich – Everyday Hustle (AC Slater remix) – (A New Hope Records)

Toddla T - Sound tape killin'

Mix cds/Compilations

1. TS7 – Jam volume 2 (cdr)
2. Sinden – We Make it Good (Shilo)
3. An England Story – The Culture of the MC in the UK 1984-2008 (Soul Jazz)
4. Bang Gang Deejays - D Is For Disco E Is For Dancing (Modular)
5. Kitsune Maison Compilation – Volume 6 (Kitsune Maison)

Stush - Dollar Sign (Live PA) [taken from An England Story]

Albums

1. Hot Chip – Made in the dark (EMI)
2. Lil’Wayne – Tha Carter Vol 3 (Cash Money Records)
3. Busy Signal – Loaded (VP)
4. Jamie Lidell – Jim (Warp)
5. Heartbreak – Lies (Lex Records)
6. Air France – No Way Down (Sincerely Yours)
7. Madlib – Beat Konducta Vol 6: Dil Withers suite (Stones Throw)
8. Mystery Jets – 21 (679 Records)
9. Radioclit and Esau Mwamwaya – The Very Best (no label)
10. The Bug – London Zoo (Ninja Tune)

Hot Chip - Made in the dark

It's been a massive year for music especially urban forms. Bassline/Funky/Aquacrunk/Lazer bass/dubstep are all going in interesting directions and 2009 should be massive.

Piddy Py

2008-11-11T12:07:00.006Z

I was working for the Manchester Evening News last week, which was fun. I chased Blue Badge cheats around the Magistrates court trying to ID them for the photographers outside. Here's the video for it. I can take Fascist like pride in the fact I helped name and shame these heinous fiends -

I also met up with Piddy Py for an interview. He is a top boy and he loves his hot chocolate. 'Get Loco' feat MNT from Leicester aka 'Giggle Riddim' is out on Dress 2 Sweat later this month and it's a massive tune. He was playing up at Club Passion as well this Saturday, which was a big night. T-Dot was there dancing about but she didn't touch mic.

Piddy Py

pic: Peter Kowalczyk

Me and Pete were stood in Badman corner and generally held our own, although when this photo was taken I was pretty scared Pete wasn't coming out of there alive. Oh yeah and don't ever get a kebab from anywhere on Westgate at five in the morning. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.

'Get Loco' Piddy Py feat. MNT

Big nights in Barnsley

2008-11-11T11:56:00.002Z

People think Barnsley is a bit backwards and full of extras from Kes. Obviously those clowns haven't been down to the Soul Allnighter. There are some right moves here. The best bit is how delicate the dj is even though he's got tattoos and looks like he'd call you a poof if you ordered anything other than Stones bitter at the bar.

What makes it even better is that I found this while trying to find this video of Trimbale vs Stormin' which is equally as good - look at his hair.

Tim Gallant

2008-11-03T20:30:00.002Z

Two Gallants are one of the most under appreciated bands around. They pop out rockabilly gems like 'Las Crucas Jail' and the best they get in return is about 1,000 record sales and a five minute slot on channel four at about 5 in the morning.

This is their video for 'Prodigal Son' and it's ace. It's also directed by Everton footballer Tim Cahill, or perhaps (aka it's definitely) it's directed by some bloke who just happens to have the same name as Timmy C. Either way it's brilliant.

God Bless Duncan

2008-11-03T17:37:00.003Z

This is my friend Duncan. He is a legend. He also reminds me of this Don't that was in the Vice student guide a while back.Sometimes he says things which are borderline racist, sometimes he says things which are that out dated I actually feel like i've gone back in time after I've spoken to him. Here's his thoughts on this weeks potentially historical events.

Duncan: It's a good week to be a negro, first F1 world champ & first President elect.

Amazing.

Mother F John Wayne

2008-11-03T11:30:00.001Z

This is one of Elvis's last performances. It's really tragic. He's well fat. But the thing which makes it ten times worse are those two Coca-cola cups. You know that on the other end of them was a big fat burger which put him in that rotund state. Easy on the Big Macs king.

West end girls and Pet Shop Boys

2008-11-03T11:18:00.002Z

When I was younger I used to watch this boxing video with my dad. It had Hearns, Hagler, Duran and Sugar Ray Leonard - it was amazing. I used to love it. But just before the Hearns v Duran fight there was the Pet Shop Boys video for 'Heart', which is still one of my favourite ever videos. It's funny now because so many bands are trying to sound like the PSB's in 2008. I don't think Ladyhawke or Late of the pier could get Sir Ian McKellen running about like Nosferateau though.

Again this is just magic. Elvis's version of this song is rank compared to this decadent dirge.

Tie dye

2008-10-24T17:19:00.003+01:00

I've been wandering around Leeds today trying to find some Mavado or Busy Signal cds. After a fruitless journey I returned with the new The Bug 12" and a Vybz Cartel 7" which cost a pound. I was pretty chuffed until I logged onto Ebay and saw this Sizzla tee-shirt looking back at me. What is it about taste and dancehall that means the two shall never mix?

Some real words of wisdom from Sizzla. The most muddled argument ever. 'Read the bible!' ok Siz, should we do that in between smoking ganga and bogling?

Aquacrunk and the Guardian

2008-10-20T17:13:00.006+01:00

pic by Peter Kowalcyk

A few weeks ago myself and Pete headed up to Glasgow to check out what was going on up there with the whole Aquacrunk scene.

Turned out it was the biggest party since 1988. We heard some of the best music in the world right now and met some of the soundest people.

Anyway I wrote a piece for the Guardian and it went up today. Have a peek.

What's up son?

2008-10-16T15:07:00.003+01:00

Fat Lip from the Pharcyde is a comedy genius. This first clip, shot by Spike Jonze while he was filming FL for a music video, really sums up what it's like hitting rock bottom. It's not a good look when you're wandering around with a nappy on and shouting at palm trees. It makes me feel better when I get drunk and start stealing people's chips at the kebab shop.

Being a washed up emcee is hard. But being a washed up emcee who has got a BJ off a tranny is ten times as bad. This clip makes me look at every girl I even think about liking and I mentally compare her hand size with that of a man standing close by.

Talk about a double whammy.

"Through a fog of incense"

2008-10-15T16:06:00.001+01:00

How ace are Cro-mags? Buddhist chanting and a Freddy Krueger claw. What more do you want?

Man from Del Monte

2008-10-12T12:19:00.003+01:00

Zomby is doing some pretty interesting things now. He released 'Spliff Dub' on Hyperdub a while ago and has kind of reset the balance within dubstep - with producers finally taking a few risks. Along with Oneman he's probably the most interesting producer at the moment.

I heard 'Strange Fruit' a while ago and it's stuck in my head. It is the best dubstep tune this year. Easily. Apparently he only gets photographed wearing skulls or a gold mask. I couldn't find any of those pics so I had to use a picture of Billie Holiday style strange fruit.

I wish I had one of those pictures.

One in the oven

2008-10-12T11:45:00.005+01:00

DJ C and a random physics student

Bassline has been going a bit stale recently. Most of the major releases have been poor (H2O's 'Love Shy' hash-up) or badly received/promoted (DJ Q and MC Bonez). But there have been new producers from different background trying somethings which are a little weird.

Piddy Py is a Manchester DJ/Producer who has just been signed by the Glasgow label Dress 2 Sweat, who have put out some B-more house in the past and stuff by Rustie. Piddy Py's forthcoming 12" is weird. Considering he's part of the more mainstream bassline crowd anyway. One tune is called 'Prickly Rose' and the other is 'Giggle Riddim'. Bassline isn't known for its sense of humour but this is pretty funny. The B side is 'Giggle Riddim' with MC MNT over the top, sounding quite a lot like MC Bonez and telling everyone in east Manchester to hold tight for the first twenty seconds. It's still a big tune though and all the 13 year-olds from Wythenshawe will have learnt the lyrics by the time i've posted this.

DJ C is well known for his 'Boston Bounce' cds and his strange mashed up jungle remixes for people like M.I.A. He's kind of like a weird version of Diplo, which makes him 20 times more interesting. He's giving an album away for free on his website. He's got a couple of ace tunes on there, including a remix of 'I'm a flirt' by R Kelly featuring A1 Bassline, T.I. & T-Pain on the mash-up version. The vocals are pitched up, but that's the way it's done in bassline. The crazier, the better.

Caption time

2008-10-07T18:17:00.010+01:00

As promised here is the caption competition. This was difficult to judge, it's a bit like trying to decide which of Beyoncé's bum cheeks is better.

Ok so this isn't a funny caption. But do me a favour and try stare into his eyes for more than 10 seconds. I bet you can't do it without losing your mind - just look at him, Great name, Zik.

Some magazines go over the top with their captions. Not African Concord they just tell it like it is. If two people are solely responsible for destroying a country, a bit like Hitler, they'll tell it straight.

I think (because nothing is for certain in African Concord) that this is supposed to be an insult. But I think it sounds quite cool. He's got a skill that other wish they had, like those guys who can roll their tongues and suck their own toes.

There is nothing like a big over the top statement to restore your belief in romance. As if this guy knows what romance is? Look at his stare. He's the Nigerian Ian Curtis.

This very nearly won. I hate lists as well. They're crap. All those list blogs, they're totally boring but I never knew it was a newsworthy opinion. And look at his face, he doesn't have a clue the poor guy.

The best ever caption. Imagine the thought process that came up with this nugget. How did he get it past the editor? It's not even a caption, it's a question. That's not a caption that's a phrase from Jamaican patois. Brilliant.

African Concord = best magazine ever

2008-10-07T17:46:00.006+01:00

African Concord was a big Nigerian magazine in the 90s. Their remit mostly covered politics, football and coups or outrages in either. I found a couple of copies lying about in a cupboard at home and couldn't believe the splendour that lay within. Remember Nollywood? Well this is like a Nollywood film transformed into a magazine. The New Statesman looks like the Beano compared to this heavyweight. Ok, my tongue was well and truly stuck in cheek then, but this is like nothing you'll ever see.

They don't give a shit about offending the military government who were running a dictatorship at the time and accuse them of 'Playing the Ostrich' which is something I haven't heard since those really bad debt management adverts. Whatever, they're still delivering Private Eye style slews without any hint of comedy or irony.

Then there are the cartoons. It's like Steve Bell has gone mental and Robert Crumb has invaded his body, but he only has five minutes before Bell regains his senses. What is this cartoon saying? It seems straight forward at first. We're all fighting the usual left wing enemies corruption, indiscipline, and seccession. Then things start getting a little freaky when drugs, hawking (wtf?) and inflation pop up.

But then just when you thought nothing could be more bizarre the triangle of hurt rears its head: 419 gangs, biya and of course who could forget Shaba skirt. I asked my dad if these were things he knew about. Obviously 419 gangs stuck a bell but Shaba skirt? hmmmmmmmm it sounds like something someone in Shoreditch would wear.

Even the adverts are next level shit. Balls to convention, we're just gonna have a guy sat about like an overwieght Stringer Bell from The Wire puffing on a tab. And look who's there in the corner? That's right his trophy wife. Bingo. Aspirational advertising for the masses.

Believe me there is a lot more where this came from. Just wait til we get to the caption competition. Phew

Give it up

2008-10-06T19:42:00.002+01:00

This is some proper exclusive footage of two of the biggest names in British comedy. Is it me or does Fielding look like he wishes Brand would just shut up trying to be funnier than him? I quite like Brand usually but here he just looks like that try hard kid at school you'd laugh at when he came in with a really shit pair of Nike Air Max just to fit in. Bless him.

D'n'B revelation part II

2008-10-06T19:29:00.001+01:00

Remember that craziness with the church and the big riddim? Well guess who just stepped it up another level? Big up Maungy for this shout. Hyper

Self defence for rock stars

2008-10-06T17:57:00.003+01:00

For anyone who didn't see Noel Gallagher get sent flying by that fan here it is again. I couldn't help but laugh. I know that's harsh but it is pretty funny he goes miles and he kind of crumples up like a really old fragile man. Don't even get me started on Liam. He just scooped the award for 'shit brother of the year' with his spineless 'let's wait til there are 15 security guards on stage' bullshit.

Here are some examples of how you defend yourself from unruly fans 'rockstar' style:

Yeah, Keith Richards is mental and he doesn't play games if you get in his face, he just takes a swing at you with his Telecaster.

Anyone who is retarded enough to think Henry Rollins won't unleash some big time fists in your mush if you get in his face, deserves a pounding. It is pretty brutal though.

Seb Bach might seem like a bit of a skinny wretch but he goes ultra mental, eventually, on a fan who messed with his doo.

Towers of London are a bit much. Most people have seen the first video but shiiiiitttttt that second one is pretty grim. What a right hook, tears before bed time. The 'You went down like a sack of shit' would probably have been lost on most people in America, which is a pity because it was genius.

This is actually sad. Jay Reatard was quickly becoming one of my favourite singers, with his scuzzy little punk songs, but this is bad.

Robert Peston aka Hamlet

2008-09-30T17:53:00.002+01:00

Have you noticed that since the credit crunch has taken over just about every news story coming out of our TVs at the moment, Robert Peston is getting as much time on TV as Lorraine Kelly?

It's true he is on every 6 o'clock bulletin now. With his quips about the financial woes of the country and how it's all the fat cat bankers who are to blame.

He is really making the most of his time on the box and it's like he treats every link as if it's an RSC production. Last night with the announcement that Bradford and Bingley were basically done for he was in super form, drawing huge amounts of breathe and then snorting it out with disgust.

Why can't he talk normally? The situation is bad enough without him coughing all over it. His intonation is like an excited five-year-old asking for some sweets from his mummy and why does he pause for absolutely no reason whatsoever?!

I hope this CC is over soon so we only have to see Peston on Comic Relief and I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

Raiding the cupboards: Roy Chicago

2008-09-28T22:13:00.004+01:00

When it comes to world music, particularly African music I'm usually the first person to jump up and say turn that off it sounds mental. My dad used to play Shina Peters and Kollington all the time when I was younger and i've got an intense hatred for both those guys. But about five years ago I started to listen back and realise there was a lot of genius in my dads collection.

Roy Chicago is a new found favourite. He was a massive hi-life act before people got bored of the westernised soun and sought out Juju acts with their more traditional Nigerian sound. Here are a couple of Roy's best tracks - there is something pretty special about his Nigeria take on American crooning.

Maria

Aiye Soro

(Follow the link to download the songs.)

90s black music tapes

2008-09-27T21:50:00.005+01:00

When me and my sister were about twelve we used to save up all our pennies from doing the washing up and mowing the lawn to buy tapes at ASDA. My sister still has all hers but I threw most of mine out. I found some of hers the other day and they're pretty special. Lauryn Hill, Blackstreet, Bone, Thugs n' Harmony and the epicly weird 3T.

The first three all still hold up today - but 3T are fucking crazy. I ended up staring at the tape for ages trying to work out what was going on. They're scary looking guys, they look like vampires from an 80s b-movie. Everything about them is wrong, from the fact that they look like Michael Jackson divided into three to the fact they didn't cap the 'I' on their single 'i NEED you'.

In case you missed it the first time around. I just don't get how little girls weren't shit scared of them and their eyebrows.

Extreme ways of coping with the National Express

2008-09-27T21:39:00.002+01:00

I really hate the National Express, but I'm that poor at the minute I can't avoid it at all. I had to take the coach from London to Bradford today at about 11.30pm - the worst possible time to travel on one of these things, because everyone wants to travel at that time.

The coach was the usual mix of immigrants, students, dead beats and vagrants except this time there was a new kind of Express user - the cockney racist wideboy. Two of these wideboys got on and within about five minutes one of them had spurted out "It stinks like fucking curry on here" followed by a conversation with a friend, in which he said: "We're the only English people on this wagon!" He was a real big man and smoked two cigarettes on the coach like a rubbish version of Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast.

Anyway, the best thing I saw was this women sitting next to me. I can kind of empathise with her because getting comfortable on a National Express, even when you have two seats, is pretty impossible. But she has taken this to a whole nutha level. She got on, rang up her friend, talked really loud for half an hour, then downed a can of Super Malt, whipped out this green rag and pretended she wasn't on the coach for the rest of the journey.

Got to admire her honest 'I hate being on this coach with you lot' attitude but after two hours of her being under I was scared for her wellbeing. I didn't try to wake her up though - I wasn't that bothered.

The Redeemer

2008-09-27T21:30:00.004+01:00

The girl in these pictures is my friend called Alex. She's just got a job working for the home office so she's pretty much on top of the world right now. But when we met up the other night for a drink I thought the new job had tipped her over the edge. She showed up in a pair of those ultra rank clog things that really odd Independent reading gents and lesbians wear.

Obviously I ripped into her but then she blasted me out of the water with her ear rings. I was hypnotised for about five minutes trying to figure out what they were and after that I'd fallen in love with the women inside her ear ring and I couldn't care less what she was wearing on her feet.

Bad clogs being saved by amazing ear rings is pretty rare - I'm calling it the fashion redeemer. It's something that good it doesn't actually matter what else your wearing.

Hot Jazz

2008-09-26T18:58:00.003+01:00

Ok, so your hair looks like a massive mushroom and you're a freaky freaky drummer - but what are you doing playing this shit? Hot jazz is bad enough at the best of times but this is a joke. Getting some geeky jewish guy on beatbox duties and wigging out for 4 minutes isn't music, it's called taking the piss mate.

Madrid – Don’t cross a deaf boxer

2008-09-24T17:31:00.000+01:00

Stalkers are quite boring now. It seems most people have had one or two and they’ve become a bit passé. In Spain this week there has been one of the most interesting advances in stalking for years. Guti the Real Madrid midfielder has been stalked by a deaf boxer who he once offered his support to in his bid to get a boxing license. The boxer, Jorge Munoz, had been befriended by Guti as he sought to get a boxing license last year, but fell out with him and then threatened the Real Madrid star and his family. This week he went loco down at the Madrid training ground and ended up smashing a couple of security guards, putting one of them in hospital. Guti was that scared of Munoz that he had employed two bodyguards to protect him from the boxer. Got to feel sorry for Guti, but shit, this has raised the bar for stalkers all over the world.

Wild man

2008-09-23T11:39:00.000+01:00

I'm down at Vice at the minute interning my bum off. The other day I got to interview Pieter Hugo, the man behind those photos of men and Hyenas that everyone went nuts for in errr Nuts magazine a while back. Here's the link have a wee peek, it's pretty interesting.

Black Car

2008-09-12T20:02:00.000+01:00

With all this 80s revivalist shit going on at the moment in the electro/bloghouse 'scene' I thought I'd share this.

My dad forgot to told me that a friend of the family had given me this for Christmas TWO years ago. Lord knows what it would have smelt like then and there is no way I'm gonna open it to find out how it smells after two years of fermenting.

Look at the design - this stuff is slick. You'd have the ladies swooning with this distinctive musk!

See you in Moscow

2008-09-12T17:10:00.000+01:00

My homeboy and contributor to DD, Super G aka Pete (far left, being gangster) is off on some epic mission to Moscow soon. He's already been around europe, hanging around with strippers at squat parties in Dusseldorf.

Check out his new blog that he's recording everything on - the amount of detail he goes into is a bit too real. Be careful you just might learn something.

Man drowns: people watch

2008-09-12T15:59:00.000+01:00

I was in Manchester recently and witnessed this guy nearly drown to death in the river Irwell while about 200 people watched eagerly. He was pissed out of his face and had fallen in. The whole thing was bizarre.

The people watching made this makeshift viewing gallery on the opposite side of the river and people took turns to get a good photograph - so much for human kindness.

I can say all this safe in the knowledge that a) I'm a journalist and b) I hate water and probably would have drowned myself if i'd try to help. That helps me sleep at night anyway.

My friend Dan was like a war photographer and managed to get photos of nearly everything that happened, plus a video of the rescue - It's hardly 999 but it brightened up my day.

Humour issues

2008-09-11T13:42:00.000+01:00

I've just got an interview with Sam Issacs on the gigwise website. This is a little snippet:

L-dog: There's a big debate in my house about who is a bigger bad guy Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men or Heath Ledger in Batman. What do you reckon?

S: Literally what does this even mean? I've been holed up in a studio for the last 2 months. Have I missed out on life? What's been going on?

L-dog: I'm undergoing some serious olympic withdrawal - if you were a world class athlete (assuming you're not) what sport would you most like to win gold in?

S: Boxing. I watched one boxing match in the Olympics. I hated it as it was pretty violent. And then 30 seconds later I was like, "come on, hit him hard!" I loved watching the boxing. I've just realised what the question is. Um, not boxing please.

He's a funny guy. A funny guy who needs to get out more.

Here's a link to the full interview.

Filling a gap

2008-09-10T20:23:00.000+01:00

After I finished the fifth series of The Wire the other day i've been pretty down. Couple that with heading back to b-town and things are looking pretty grim. I decided I at least needed to try to move on and I looked to skateboarding as a temporary solution. My mate had a copy of Fully Flared, which features the Royal Family, an elite group of skaters from around the world.

This is Alex Olson's part. He is ace. Getting angry when you mess up is what it's all about. I'm going to try and use it in everyday situations. Like if I forget to take a pasta bake out of the oven and it burns i'll smash it all over the kitchen.

The music on the second part is King Diamond 'One Down Two To Go' and it's totally epic. As is the Young Jeezy track 'I luv it' that features on Brandon Biebel's part. Jeezy is single handedly restoring my faith in hip hop club tracks.

Absolutely BIG

Band of Horses also get a run out. I never really got that excited about these guys when they were big two years ago, but this got me pretty teary eyed.

Gucci by Lynch

2008-09-10T16:39:00.000+01:00

I saw the newest Gucci adverts, which have started showing again and
thought it was ridiculous that someone could rip off Lynch that
blatantly - until I realised it was the man himself.

It's no secret he's done aftershave adverts before for Opium and
Calvin Klein 'Obsession'. His mind boggling, twisted 30 second ads are
true genius. They're made even better because he's helping to sell
fragrance which is such a subjective and seductive product.

I don't think there is a product which relies so heavily on perception and
Lynch is a master of creating moments that not only haunt you but
reverberate in coolness.

Look how crazy his hand are?

Check out the full version of this post at the Guardian blog

Duv-duv-duv-duv-duv-dddduv

2008-09-10T16:09:00.000+01:00

When people talk about how crap Eastenders is I used to get well upset. It used to start me lamenting about the good old days and all the classic moments.

Basically this You Tube clip would play in my head...except i'd repressed that memory of Frank in the buff except for his bow-tie. Until now. Grim

How many bitches does it take to make a pile up?

2008-09-10T12:17:00.000+01:00

I think i'm in love. 16 Bitch pile up have the best name in noise and are a breathe of fresh air compared to all those smelly old guys with hats that make them look like Badly Drawn Boy sitting on stage looking at a wall and playing a prostethtic limb.

Ok, so songs like 'Face Cadet Segement' aren't exactly dancefloor fodder but at least they're not completely boring. I read about them in Wire after breaking a new years resolution not to read it for an entire year. It's a pretty nice feeling picking that magazine up, reading it and feeling like the most ignorant man in the world, for not knowing about these noise bands from Wyoming or wherever.

I can't wait to see them live so I can throw some fruit at them or that prostethtic leg.

Leather and silver steeds

2008-09-10T11:52:00.000+01:00

I've just moved back home to Bradford. Times are pretty boring right now and most days are spent applying for jobs I can't get and watching daytime tv. Music tv is the worst. It is terrible.

It's got to the point where i'm watching Bliss ballads and praying for Phil Collins or Journey. MTV 2 is the biggest culprit. Remember when it used to be quite edgy and they played 'One armed scissor' all the time? Yeah, not really?!

Well one saving grace was when Jimmy Eat World got to pick their favourite festival line up and finished it off with Man-o-war headlining. They are on another level.

Rage against the machine? Bunch of whining ninnies compared to this lot. Metallica - Ha nothing but too many alcopops and hair spray. These guys are real men - watch it and weep!

Jawbroken

2008-09-08T11:36:00.000+01:00

This is not a joke. This is actually official.

Someone mentioned this to me a while ago but I thought it was some sort of bassline urban myth, like those Japanese video games that dispense school girls underwear.

Looking back i'm not that surprised Ricky lost with this as his anthem. Floyd probably could have got LL Cool J to re-do 'Momma said knock Ricky out', then again he's not retarded.

Did uncle John teach you that?

2008-09-08T11:11:00.001+01:00

Uncle John

Bredis P

After the Amir Khan fight on Saturday I heard some boozed up chaps asking whether John Prescott was a relation of Bredis 'Khan slayer' Prescott. It was a fair enough question as the former deputy PM did have a killer left hook just like his Colombian name sake.

It was hard watching Khan get KO'd but Frank Warren and his people should take the brunt of the blame for setting the fight up in the first place. Who picks a Colombian, unknown fighter with a record of 19 wins 17 KOs for a fighter who was hurt by a journeyman like Michael Gomez?

It's hard to see what Khan's next step will be but after that ramraid of a KO, he's going to struggle to ever get up to world championship level. The questions about his chin were well and truly answered - it is indeed made out of glass.

The fight reminded me of one my trainer 'bald Steve' told me about from a few years ago. Herol 'Bomber' Graham was fighting Julian Jackson and with his illusive style he was evading punches and hurting JJ. But later in the fight he decided to start brawling and yes, you guessed it, he became Khan's KO doppel ganger. Ouch

HB-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2008-08-25T19:28:00.000+01:00

Most people that watch tv will have stumbled, like some fool from a Shakesperian tragedy, into the world of HBO or HB-WOOOOOOO as i've cleverly called it. The American paid for channel has basically churned out some of the best tv shows ever: The Sopranos, Curb your enthusiasm, Flight of the conchords and errrrrr The 'freaking' Wire to name just a few.

So to many it's not much of a suprise that Armando Iannucci has called for the BBC to take a leaf and create its own paid for channel to try and create similar brilliant pieces of work.

You can see his point. Judge John Deed isn't much of a match for Tony Soprano or Omar from The Wire.

No doubt this is going to send people into a right tizzy. With all the hoo haa surrounding the license fee and BBC Worldwide a move like that will probably be opposed by most in the industry, especially ITV who haven't produced a decent drama since London's Burning.

The BBC isn't exactly a lightweight when it comes to drama or comedy with BBC three producing some amazing work recently. However, the sheer quality of HBO is something that the beeb could learn from but at the moment with all the distruption and uncertainty over funding me thinks it could be a while before anything is actually established.

I realise this is quite a serious post, devoid of funny pictures, so I thought I'd pop this classic Armando sketch, featuring the most cockney man in the world aka Brick Top.

I've tried to describe this sketch to so many people and it's almost impossible without looking and sounding like a complete moron.

I'm sorry!

2008-08-24T13:38:00.000+01:00

I have to apologise for posting that piece ripping into Cuizinier and his piss poor tee shirt. I realise now that it was a huge mistake, the guy is a genius. I'd wear that tee shirt if I had a spare thirty euros to throw about - regardless of how bad it is or how gay it made me look.

I think Yelle and him should have some kids they'd be the best things ever. But has anyone noticed if french music isn't Serge Gainsbourg, house or hip hop it is absolutely gash. I mean amazingly bad.

Here's the other half of the super couple defying logic:

and...

Mega cool yeah?!

Once bitten...

2008-08-24T12:54:00.000+01:00

I was going to dedicate this blog to bassline house when I first started it. I'm pretty glad I didn't bother because in the past year things have gone well wrong. Apart from the DJ Q and Mc Bonez single 'You Wot' there hasn't been a decent b-line track released for about six months. Everyone is making these terrible homages to UKG with Platinum being the biggest culprits. But now even Bradford's own TS7 is starting to make songs that sound like Defected style funky house.

Things have become painfully crap with Platinum covering Kristine Blonde's 'Love Shy'. This is almost as bad as Ultrabeats version of happy hardcore classic 'Shooting Star' by Bang! To be fair the video just might be comedy genius. The 'bass battle' is class as is the guy in the blue bandanas reaction to getting binned off by those 'well fit' birds at around 2:44.

I feel like i'm going back in time when I listen to music this poor, back to a time when I was that ignorant I didn't give one shit. Unfortunately now i've heard what decent dance music sounds like and this is a long way off.

Things are pretty bad when 2-step feels like an evolutionary leap forward. Here's KB keeping it shiny.

When I was looking for the KB video I found this comment on You Tube by a guy called Mochundi -

"I Still can't get enough of it. Thank you for uploading this beautiful and unique piece of music, it's a classic. Thanks to Karl 'Tuff Enuff' Brown and Matt 'Jam' Lamont. And all the best to the amazing Kristine Blond !!!"

Bloody hell, three exclaimation marks!!! This guy needs to get down to the boilerhouse in Bradford to experience some more 'classic' moments.

Chip off the old block

2008-08-20T13:44:00.000+01:00

I was reading the other day how the piano riff from Grizzly Bears 'Two weeks' sounds exactly like 'Still Dre'. I nearly coughed my cornflakes all over the place when I checked them out and found it was true.

Then at the weekend I was lambasted for mistaking Hot Chip's 'One Pure Thought' for 'Niave' by The Kooks. Anyway I went onto you tube and guess what - check out the opening riffs. Doppel Gangers.

Oh and here is the Grizzly Bear and Dr. Dre vids - (Gorilla vs Bear saw this first)

We need more Hype Williams videos - this is bloody ridiculous

For all the girls

2008-08-18T12:54:00.000+01:00

Ever since that Justice video last year there has been a steady stream of cooler and cooler tee shirts coming out of the Ed Banger/Aracde Mode crew. It seemed like they could do no wrong. Then today I get this in my email box. The new tee shirt from Ed Banger 'It boy' Cuizinier - It even has it's own name 'pour les filles' or 'for the girls' in English.

This one is a step too far, granted this is coming from a man who wears tee shirts with massive white tigers on them, but still.

Anyone prepared to go around with that on their chest either better be working for the guy or in love with him. It looks like some Mp3 bloggers ultimate boyfriend - complete with rubbish goatie and new era cap.

Here's the Justice video from saner times:

Cheers Don

2008-08-14T08:54:00.000+01:00

I love 419 gangs. They're the west african hustlers who send you emails and previously elaborate faxes asking for your help and offering to put vast sums into your bank account - usually to help an African prince.

Here's one I got from good old Don Smith aka some 14-year-old in Accra.

Dear Friend,

I am conducting a standard process investigation on behalf of our Bank an international banking conglomerate. This investigation involves a client and also the circumstances surrounding investments made by this client with our Bank. Our client died and nominated no successor in title over his account balance with our bank.

If you are interested, kindly get back to me for more details about our deceased client and how we can remit the fund to your account. On the receipt of the fund in your bank account, both of us will share the fund accordingly.

Thank you.

Regards,

Don Smith

No no, thank you Don.

Not a good day to be Lanre

2008-08-13T22:58:00.000+01:00

I think Lanre is a pretty cool name. I've always liked it, mostly because when I was young, kids in the playground couldn't rhyme it with anything that funny - so they'd usually have to resort to calling me a paki out of frustration.

But today my friend was bored and started rooting around in the urban dictionary. For those that don't know, this is a site where parents go to secretly find out what their kids mean when they call them 'wastemen'.

After my friend found out what a 'poomplex' and a 'rassclaat' were, he typed in Lanre and this is what came up:

Lanre = 9 thumbs down

when a man puts a laxative in girls drink and rapes her. she cannot defend herself because her stomach hurts to bad.

ie. "Dude, Sharon got lanre last night"

That's what my name means in slang. That is horrendous. What kind of people would even come up with a term that specific? 'Date rape' seems to do for most people. Why Lanre? And surely it should be Lanred, put it in the past tense.

At least it's only 9 thumbs down - lord knows what i'd have done if it would have been ten. And as if rape doesn't constitute ten thumbs down - I bet these guys come from the 'it's not rape, it's suprise sex' school of thought.

Things didn't get much better when we searched Lanre in You Tube. This guy popped up:

Type your name into urban dictionary - I bet you can't beat nine thumbs down and it meaning 'shit rape'.

D'n'b revelation

2008-08-10T16:37:00.000+01:00

People are always complaining about how drum and bass has become the soundtrack to middle class kids weekends and that it's not 'real' anymore. I was in that camp as well.

But after seeing this it's clear that it has just found a new audience who are giving it the respect that it deserves.

This is perfect. The build up is amazing and the pastor popping in now and again to spit some bars. The guy in the jeans and the black top is a real caner. This puts a Pendulum gig to shame - check for the matter!

"I'll pop yer eye out/then pull yer ear off"

2008-08-10T16:16:00.000+01:00

The Taxman. The North East's answer to Lenny Mclean.

In short a total rudeboy; or prick depending on how many braincells you have. What kind of a beast demonstrates, in a matter of fact way, how you pop people's eyes out and drown people at will.

My previous favourite McIntyre moment was when he hung out for two nights in Brixton in an outfit that made him look like a Marx brother and a laptop, waiting to get mugged. He obviously did and then had a big cry about it.

What's that they say about getting what you wished for?

Cocklaughs

2008-08-10T16:05:00.001+01:00

Ok, this is childish.

But after a trip around Asda I couldn't believe the phallic overload in there. Hundreds of kids surrounded by this stuff.

To be fair Cock soup is actually really tasty - I haven't dared to mess with the Matchmakers yet. Everytime I even think of them Lexington Steel pops into my head - at his most excited.

Trippin' and a Nickin'

2008-08-07T23:20:00.000+01:00

I used to be one of those people who really thought the Fall were shit. When I was going through that stage where you learn about great British bands and consume everything you can and then become a self proclaimed authority on music - I was shunning the Fall.

Then I heard LCD soundsystem and felt reet sorry for old Mark e Smith. He puts the work in creating this twatish alter ego with a mid atlantic drawl and then some clued up new york punk-come-dj rips him right off.

I think 'totally wired' and 'losing my edge' are the best examples - It's a total scandal. Apparently Von Sudenfed was a project MES started just to rip off LCD. Good on him - he managed it, this sounds just like 'losing my edge'.

Revenge!

Obumbaclaaat?

2008-08-07T17:27:00.000+01:00

I saw this first on the Guardian's website. It's Obama getting heckled about not representing the needs of the black community. About a month ago i was talking to a mate about the same thing and said that black people (I'm mixed race in case you're wondering why i'm casually addressing 'black people'. I'm allowed to do that it's in the race rulebook) should just be happy that Obama is black for now and that if he goes out on an exclusively black agenda he'd be doomed.

But watching this i couldn't help be a bit annoyed at how he handled the situation. When he's heckled he doesn't try to deal with what they are saying or appease their concerns, which are to some extent valid, instead he blurts out a sound bite, like a Tony Blair replica doll.

If he's going to retain his credibility with ethnic groups he needs to have the courage not only to point out their failings (as he did when he attacked absenteeism in black fathers) but also identify their needs - without worrying about what middle america will think.

Nike Air Stab

2008-07-30T18:27:00.000+01:00

Nike have a pretty decent record when it comes to marketing. They work with top athletes and build up the brand around actual talent. Tiger Woods, Roger Federer, Theirry Henry and of course Michael 'Air' Jordan are the most obvious examples.

But someone over at Nike HQ has had one too many disco buiscuits and decided to jump on the knife crime bandwagon by naming their latest range 'pocketknife'.

That's right less than a year since they had to withdraw their Nike Air Stab range, they've decided to cut the ambiguity and get right to the weapon of choice for UK hoodlums.

Here's a picture of the offending trainer - to top it off it looks like something a new age raver would wear.

Botting

2008-07-28T19:57:00.001+01:00

Summer is good.

I love it when it’s warm and you can relax in a beer garden and think thank God winter is over. The only real draw back, apart from scallies and fat people taking their tops off, are insects. They get well excited in summer.

Last week I walked into my room to find five blue bottles milling around on my window. I thought it was pretty weird to see five in one spot. Two or three maybe, but five? Something was wrong. I decided to act quickly and proceeded to shoo them out with a copy of Johnny Cash’s autobiography, like some upset old woman.

Well not all of them. I killed one and left him on the windowsill as an example to his friends. I saw the Vietcong do this in a film and thought it was a good idea.

I thought that would have done the trick and the bluebots would have got the message or at the very least their morale would be sapped. I was wrong.

The next day I came home to find six blue bottles on my window – I thought I was in a Hitchcock film. This time I went postal and splatted four of them with the fiction copy of Vice, which was left in a right state. The girl from the American Apparel ad even got some in the mush.

I started to think of reasons why this kept happening. Then my flatmate pointed out the big vent in my ceiling.I checked it out but there was nothing in there. Then we realised we hadn’t put the bin (which is directly below my bedroom window) out in three weeks and it had become a perfect breeding ground for bluebots. There was loads of them round the back of the house. The only thing I could do was close the window and wait for them to go away.

The whole sorry episode reminded me of a story I heard about Dj Scotch Egg. Apparently he used to couch surf round people’s houses and order Chinese takeaways every night. Instead of throwing away the tin foil packaging they came in, he just stock piled them until they looked like a model of some futuristic office block. Obviously the flies loved this and started swarming around the tower. But instead of throwing the horrible rank tower away, Dj Scotch Egg bought an electronic fly swat and proceeded to wage war against the flies. Apparently he won.

I’ve been on edge ever since and I decided to leave the dead flies up there. Partly to warn off the flies in case they return and partly out of respect for Dj Scotch Egg’s bravery in battle.

Why not?

2008-07-21T19:28:00.000+01:00

Why wouldn't you want this?

Nollywood

2008-07-21T18:45:00.000+01:00

Nollywood is the rather stupid sounding moniker for the Nigerian film industry. Unlike Bollywood there is nothing that sets Nollywood apart from Hollywood in terms of its content, except for the fact that the films are spectacularly bad. Even the most serious of dramas looks like a remake of an 18th century farce.

While at home I dug around and found some of my Dad’s favourites. I’ve included the actual blurb that was on the back, which has some of the worse language use I’ve ever seen:

Omo Yahoo:

Money, the root of all evil and a society that fails to plan for the future of their young generation reveals the story of Bayo, who hails from a humble background, but decided to seek the fastest road to acquire wealth without much labour. Bayo became a computer fraud-star otherwise known as Omo Yahoo. This is an education movie that all families must watch. Full of intrigue, suspense and very emotional.

Olewu Igioyin:

Oyiniola is a woman full of venom but appears harmless as she rides the crest of her rollicking success. Michael Adigun is embroiled in adulterous liaisons from London to Lagos aided by his close friend Hassan. Heads are bound to roll as everyone reaps the fruit of their various actions. Full of suspense, intriguing actions from the cast of classy actors and actresses. Igi Oyin will have you sitting on the edge of your seat.

Ara 2

Bola and Yomi travelled to the UK to reconfirm their HIV status but come back with a bigger problem. Will their marriage stand the test of time? Who infected who? Are they really HIV positive? Check it out in Ara part 2

Fatal Imagination 2

Ifunnamya who has been presumed dead comes back after about 8 months to confront her sister Adanna and her husband George who had been getting ready for the altar. George is shocked beyond words to see Ifunnamya who was burnt beyond recognition in an accident that happened before his eyes. Everyone is thrown into confusion as they think the ghost of Ifunnamya is on the loose, determined to destroy their lives.

Love Affair

This doesn’t even need a blurb. They just use pictures.

I decided to guess what it might have been though…Tayo who is a small time crook and jewel thief decides he needs a more voluptuous partner. He decides to secretly perform plastic surgery on Ola, his partner, while she sleeps. But in the middle of the op Ola wakes up and with her new bosoms, which have given her super powers, she goes on a rampage that will leave you scared beyond belief.