Friday, 24 October 2008

Tie dye

I've been wandering around Leeds today trying to find some Mavado or Busy Signal cds. After a fruitless journey I returned with the new The Bug 12" and a Vybz Cartel 7" which cost a pound. I was pretty chuffed until I logged onto Ebay and saw this Sizzla tee-shirt looking back at me. What is it about taste and dancehall that means the two shall never mix?

Some real words of wisdom from Sizzla. The most muddled argument ever. 'Read the bible!' ok Siz, should we do that in between smoking ganga and bogling?

Monday, 20 October 2008

Aquacrunk and the Guardian

pic by Peter Kowalcyk

A few weeks ago myself and Pete headed up to Glasgow to check out what was going on up there with the whole Aquacrunk scene.

Turned out it was the biggest party since 1988. We heard some of the best music in the world right now and met some of the soundest people.

Anyway I wrote a piece for the Guardian and it went up today. Have a peek.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

What's up son?

Fat Lip from the Pharcyde is a comedy genius. This first clip, shot by Spike Jonze while he was filming FL for a music video, really sums up what it's like hitting rock bottom. It's not a good look when you're wandering around with a nappy on and shouting at palm trees. It makes me feel better when I get drunk and start stealing people's chips at the kebab shop.

Being a washed up emcee is hard. But being a washed up emcee who has got a BJ off a tranny is ten times as bad. This clip makes me look at every girl I even think about liking and I mentally compare her hand size with that of a man standing close by.

Talk about a double whammy.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

"Through a fog of incense"

How ace are Cro-mags? Buddhist chanting and a Freddy Krueger claw. What more do you want?

Sunday, 12 October 2008

Man from Del Monte

Zomby is doing some pretty interesting things now. He released 'Spliff Dub' on Hyperdub a while ago and has kind of reset the balance within dubstep - with producers finally taking a few risks. Along with Oneman he's probably the most interesting producer at the moment.

I heard 'Strange Fruit' a while ago and it's stuck in my head. It is the best dubstep tune this year. Easily. Apparently he only gets photographed wearing skulls or a gold mask. I couldn't find any of those pics so I had to use a picture of Billie Holiday style strange fruit.

I wish I had one of those pictures.

One in the oven

DJ C and a random physics student

Bassline has been going a bit stale recently. Most of the major releases have been poor (H2O's 'Love Shy' hash-up) or badly received/promoted (DJ Q and MC Bonez). But there have been new producers from different background trying somethings which are a little weird.

Piddy Py is a Manchester DJ/Producer who has just been signed by the Glasgow label Dress 2 Sweat, who have put out some B-more house in the past and stuff by Rustie. Piddy Py's forthcoming 12" is weird. Considering he's part of the more mainstream bassline crowd anyway. One tune is called 'Prickly Rose' and the other is 'Giggle Riddim'. Bassline isn't known for its sense of humour but this is pretty funny. The B side is 'Giggle Riddim' with MC MNT over the top, sounding quite a lot like MC Bonez and telling everyone in east Manchester to hold tight for the first twenty seconds. It's still a big tune though and all the 13 year-olds from Wythenshawe will have learnt the lyrics by the time i've posted this.

DJ C is well known for his 'Boston Bounce' cds and his strange mashed up jungle remixes for people like M.I.A. He's kind of like a weird version of Diplo, which makes him 20 times more interesting. He's giving an album away for free on his website. He's got a couple of ace tunes on there, including a remix of 'I'm a flirt' by R Kelly featuring A1 Bassline, T.I. & T-Pain on the mash-up version. The vocals are pitched up, but that's the way it's done in bassline. The crazier, the better.

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Caption time

As promised here is the caption competition. This was difficult to judge, it's a bit like trying to decide which of Beyoncé's bum cheeks is better.

Ok so this isn't a funny caption. But do me a favour and try stare into his eyes for more than 10 seconds. I bet you can't do it without losing your mind - just look at him, Great name, Zik.

Some magazines go over the top with their captions. Not African Concord they just tell it like it is. If two people are solely responsible for destroying a country, a bit like Hitler, they'll tell it straight.

I think (because nothing is for certain in African Concord) that this is supposed to be an insult. But I think it sounds quite cool. He's got a skill that other wish they had, like those guys who can roll their tongues and suck their own toes.

There is nothing like a big over the top statement to restore your belief in romance. As if this guy knows what romance is? Look at his stare. He's the Nigerian Ian Curtis.

This very nearly won. I hate lists as well. They're crap. All those list blogs, they're totally boring but I never knew it was a newsworthy opinion. And look at his face, he doesn't have a clue the poor guy.

The best ever caption. Imagine the thought process that came up with this nugget. How did he get it past the editor? It's not even a caption, it's a question. That's not a caption that's a phrase from Jamaican patois. Brilliant.

African Concord = best magazine ever

African Concord was a big Nigerian magazine in the 90s. Their remit mostly covered politics, football and coups or outrages in either. I found a couple of copies lying about in a cupboard at home and couldn't believe the splendour that lay within. Remember Nollywood? Well this is like a Nollywood film transformed into a magazine. The New Statesman looks like the Beano compared to this heavyweight. Ok, my tongue was well and truly stuck in cheek then, but this is like nothing you'll ever see.

They don't give a shit about offending the military government who were running a dictatorship at the time and accuse them of 'Playing the Ostrich' which is something I haven't heard since those really bad debt management adverts. Whatever, they're still delivering Private Eye style slews without any hint of comedy or irony.

Then there are the cartoons. It's like Steve Bell has gone mental and Robert Crumb has invaded his body, but he only has five minutes before Bell regains his senses. What is this cartoon saying? It seems straight forward at first. We're all fighting the usual left wing enemies corruption, indiscipline, and seccession. Then things start getting a little freaky when drugs, hawking (wtf?) and inflation pop up.

But then just when you thought nothing could be more bizarre the triangle of hurt rears its head: 419 gangs, biya and of course who could forget Shaba skirt. I asked my dad if these were things he knew about. Obviously 419 gangs stuck a bell but Shaba skirt? hmmmmmmmm it sounds like something someone in Shoreditch would wear.

Even the adverts are next level shit. Balls to convention, we're just gonna have a guy sat about like an overwieght Stringer Bell from The Wire puffing on a tab. And look who's there in the corner? That's right his trophy wife. Bingo. Aspirational advertising for the masses.

Believe me there is a lot more where this came from. Just wait til we get to the caption competition. Phew

Monday, 6 October 2008

Give it up

This is some proper exclusive footage of two of the biggest names in British comedy. Is it me or does Fielding look like he wishes Brand would just shut up trying to be funnier than him? I quite like Brand usually but here he just looks like that try hard kid at school you'd laugh at when he came in with a really shit pair of Nike Air Max just to fit in. Bless him.

D'n'B revelation part II

Remember that craziness with the church and the big riddim? Well guess who just stepped it up another level? Big up Maungy for this shout. Hyper

Self defence for rock stars

For anyone who didn't see Noel Gallagher get sent flying by that fan here it is again. I couldn't help but laugh. I know that's harsh but it is pretty funny he goes miles and he kind of crumples up like a really old fragile man. Don't even get me started on Liam. He just scooped the award for 'shit brother of the year' with his spineless 'let's wait til there are 15 security guards on stage' bullshit.

Here are some examples of how you defend yourself from unruly fans 'rockstar' style:

Yeah, Keith Richards is mental and he doesn't play games if you get in his face, he just takes a swing at you with his Telecaster.

Anyone who is retarded enough to think Henry Rollins won't unleash some big time fists in your mush if you get in his face, deserves a pounding. It is pretty brutal though.

Seb Bach might seem like a bit of a skinny wretch but he goes ultra mental, eventually, on a fan who messed with his doo.

Towers of London are a bit much. Most people have seen the first video but shiiiiitttttt that second one is pretty grim. What a right hook, tears before bed time. The 'You went down like a sack of shit' would probably have been lost on most people in America, which is a pity because it was genius.

This is actually sad. Jay Reatard was quickly becoming one of my favourite singers, with his scuzzy little punk songs, but this is bad.