Monday, 25 August 2008


Most people that watch tv will have stumbled, like some fool from a Shakesperian tragedy, into the world of HBO or HB-WOOOOOOO as i've cleverly called it. The American paid for channel has basically churned out some of the best tv shows ever: The Sopranos, Curb your enthusiasm, Flight of the conchords and errrrrr The 'freaking' Wire to name just a few.

So to many it's not much of a suprise that Armando Iannucci has called for the BBC to take a leaf and create its own paid for channel to try and create similar brilliant pieces of work.

You can see his point. Judge John Deed isn't much of a match for Tony Soprano or Omar from The Wire.

No doubt this is going to send people into a right tizzy. With all the hoo haa surrounding the license fee and BBC Worldwide a move like that will probably be opposed by most in the industry, especially ITV who haven't produced a decent drama since London's Burning.

The BBC isn't exactly a lightweight when it comes to drama or comedy with BBC three producing some amazing work recently. However, the sheer quality of HBO is something that the beeb could learn from but at the moment with all the distruption and uncertainty over funding me thinks it could be a while before anything is actually established.

I realise this is quite a serious post, devoid of funny pictures, so I thought I'd pop this classic Armando sketch, featuring the most cockney man in the world aka Brick Top.

I've tried to describe this sketch to so many people and it's almost impossible without looking and sounding like a complete moron.

Sunday, 24 August 2008

I'm sorry!

I have to apologise for posting that piece ripping into Cuizinier and his piss poor tee shirt. I realise now that it was a huge mistake, the guy is a genius. I'd wear that tee shirt if I had a spare thirty euros to throw about - regardless of how bad it is or how gay it made me look.

I think Yelle and him should have some kids they'd be the best things ever. But has anyone noticed if french music isn't Serge Gainsbourg, house or hip hop it is absolutely gash. I mean amazingly bad.

Here's the other half of the super couple defying logic:


Mega cool yeah?!

Once bitten...

I was going to dedicate this blog to bassline house when I first started it. I'm pretty glad I didn't bother because in the past year things have gone well wrong. Apart from the DJ Q and Mc Bonez single 'You Wot' there hasn't been a decent b-line track released for about six months. Everyone is making these terrible homages to UKG with Platinum being the biggest culprits. But now even Bradford's own TS7 is starting to make songs that sound like Defected style funky house.

Things have become painfully crap with Platinum covering Kristine Blonde's 'Love Shy'. This is almost as bad as Ultrabeats version of happy hardcore classic 'Shooting Star' by Bang! To be fair the video just might be comedy genius. The 'bass battle' is class as is the guy in the blue bandanas reaction to getting binned off by those 'well fit' birds at around 2:44.

I feel like i'm going back in time when I listen to music this poor, back to a time when I was that ignorant I didn't give one shit. Unfortunately now i've heard what decent dance music sounds like and this is a long way off.

Things are pretty bad when 2-step feels like an evolutionary leap forward. Here's KB keeping it shiny.

When I was looking for the KB video I found this comment on You Tube by a guy called Mochundi -

"I Still can't get enough of it. Thank you for uploading this beautiful and unique piece of music, it's a classic. Thanks to Karl 'Tuff Enuff' Brown and Matt 'Jam' Lamont. And all the best to the amazing Kristine Blond !!!"

Bloody hell, three exclaimation marks!!! This guy needs to get down to the boilerhouse in Bradford to experience some more 'classic' moments.

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Chip off the old block

I was reading the other day how the piano riff from Grizzly Bears 'Two weeks' sounds exactly like 'Still Dre'. I nearly coughed my cornflakes all over the place when I checked them out and found it was true.

Then at the weekend I was lambasted for mistaking Hot Chip's 'One Pure Thought' for 'Niave' by The Kooks. Anyway I went onto you tube and guess what - check out the opening riffs. Doppel Gangers.

Oh and here is the Grizzly Bear and Dr. Dre vids - (Gorilla vs Bear saw this first)

We need more Hype Williams videos - this is bloody ridiculous

Monday, 18 August 2008

For all the girls

Ever since that Justice video last year there has been a steady stream of cooler and cooler tee shirts coming out of the Ed Banger/Aracde Mode crew. It seemed like they could do no wrong. Then today I get this in my email box. The new tee shirt from Ed Banger 'It boy' Cuizinier - It even has it's own name 'pour les filles' or 'for the girls' in English.

This one is a step too far, granted this is coming from a man who wears tee shirts with massive white tigers on them, but still.

Anyone prepared to go around with that on their chest either better be working for the guy or in love with him. It looks like some Mp3 bloggers ultimate boyfriend - complete with rubbish goatie and new era cap.

Here's the Justice video from saner times:

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Cheers Don

I love 419 gangs. They're the west african hustlers who send you emails and previously elaborate faxes asking for your help and offering to put vast sums into your bank account - usually to help an African prince.

Here's one I got from good old Don Smith aka some 14-year-old in Accra.

Dear Friend,

I am conducting a standard process investigation on behalf of our Bank an international banking conglomerate. This investigation involves a client and also the circumstances surrounding investments made by this client with our Bank. Our client died and nominated no successor in title over his account balance with our bank.

If you are interested, kindly get back to me for more details about our deceased client and how we can remit the fund to your account. On the receipt of the fund in your bank account, both of us will share the fund accordingly.

Thank you.


Don Smith

No no, thank you Don.

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Not a good day to be Lanre

I think Lanre is a pretty cool name. I've always liked it, mostly because when I was young, kids in the playground couldn't rhyme it with anything that funny - so they'd usually have to resort to calling me a paki out of frustration.

But today my friend was bored and started rooting around in the urban dictionary. For those that don't know, this is a site where parents go to secretly find out what their kids mean when they call them 'wastemen'.

After my friend found out what a 'poomplex' and a 'rassclaat' were, he typed in Lanre and this is what came up:

Lanre = 9 thumbs down

when a man puts a laxative in girls drink and rapes her. she cannot defend herself because her stomach hurts to bad.

ie. "Dude, Sharon got lanre last night"

That's what my name means in slang. That is horrendous. What kind of people would even come up with a term that specific? 'Date rape' seems to do for most people. Why Lanre? And surely it should be Lanred, put it in the past tense.

At least it's only 9 thumbs down - lord knows what i'd have done if it would have been ten. And as if rape doesn't constitute ten thumbs down - I bet these guys come from the 'it's not rape, it's suprise sex' school of thought.

Things didn't get much better when we searched Lanre in You Tube. This guy popped up:

Type your name into urban dictionary - I bet you can't beat nine thumbs down and it meaning 'shit rape'.

Sunday, 10 August 2008

D'n'b revelation

People are always complaining about how drum and bass has become the soundtrack to middle class kids weekends and that it's not 'real' anymore. I was in that camp as well.

But after seeing this it's clear that it has just found a new audience who are giving it the respect that it deserves.

This is perfect. The build up is amazing and the pastor popping in now and again to spit some bars. The guy in the jeans and the black top is a real caner. This puts a Pendulum gig to shame - check for the matter!

"I'll pop yer eye out/then pull yer ear off"

The Taxman. The North East's answer to Lenny Mclean.

In short a total rudeboy; or prick depending on how many braincells you have. What kind of a beast demonstrates, in a matter of fact way, how you pop people's eyes out and drown people at will.

My previous favourite McIntyre moment was when he hung out for two nights in Brixton in an outfit that made him look like a Marx brother and a laptop, waiting to get mugged. He obviously did and then had a big cry about it.

What's that they say about getting what you wished for?


Ok, this is childish.

But after a trip around Asda I couldn't believe the phallic overload in there. Hundreds of kids surrounded by this stuff.

To be fair Cock soup is actually really tasty - I haven't dared to mess with the Matchmakers yet. Everytime I even think of them Lexington Steel pops into my head - at his most excited.

Thursday, 7 August 2008

Trippin' and a Nickin'

I used to be one of those people who really thought the Fall were shit. When I was going through that stage where you learn about great British bands and consume everything you can and then become a self proclaimed authority on music - I was shunning the Fall.

Then I heard LCD soundsystem and felt reet sorry for old Mark e Smith. He puts the work in creating this twatish alter ego with a mid atlantic drawl and then some clued up new york punk-come-dj rips him right off.

I think 'totally wired' and 'losing my edge' are the best examples - It's a total scandal. Apparently Von Sudenfed was a project MES started just to rip off LCD. Good on him - he managed it, this sounds just like 'losing my edge'.



I saw this first on the Guardian's website. It's Obama getting heckled about not representing the needs of the black community. About a month ago i was talking to a mate about the same thing and said that black people (I'm mixed race in case you're wondering why i'm casually addressing 'black people'. I'm allowed to do that it's in the race rulebook) should just be happy that Obama is black for now and that if he goes out on an exclusively black agenda he'd be doomed.

But watching this i couldn't help be a bit annoyed at how he handled the situation. When he's heckled he doesn't try to deal with what they are saying or appease their concerns, which are to some extent valid, instead he blurts out a sound bite, like a Tony Blair replica doll.

If he's going to retain his credibility with ethnic groups he needs to have the courage not only to point out their failings (as he did when he attacked absenteeism in black fathers) but also identify their needs - without worrying about what middle america will think.